Shoes of a Parent

Aung San Suu Kyi once said: “If you want to bring an end to long standing conflict, you have to be prepared to compromise.” In a struggle for the conciliation between teenagers and their parents, the middle ground seems ever so distant when both sides do not see eye to eye. The clashes, the disagreement and differences often stagnate to a stalemate when there is incongruity of trust and expectations. In the quest for concession in this generation-long “battle”, I challenge myself to be in the shoes of a parent, and endeavor to answer that very question: “The right way to bring up a teen?”

The first key step of parenthood of teenagers has to be “Remember”. The recollection of parents when they went through the turmoil of the “growing pains” surely can induce the sense of empathy and understanding. The physical and mental changes after the onset of puberty can be the source of disruption and dissonance. The fragile self-confidence with the cruelty of peer pressure, often times result in turbulence of commotion and self-doubts. Undeniably, the teenagers will require large doses of support and compassions to overcome the mayhem of the peaks and trough of the “emotional” hormones. 87% of young runaways are from parents whom are either divorced or aren’t playing an active role as a family member according to Painswick Orphanage. This highlights how crucial positive morals and ethics are in a family. Patience is key. The teenage years are technically the transitional stages of a child maturing to adulthood. In order to allow opportunities to find self-identity in this journey to independence, parents must master the art of giving leeway and “Relax”. To earn the confidence and build the character, teenagers must be given chances to fall and make their own mistakes. Despite being protective, an “unwind” parent should allow autonomy in their teenage offspring to shape their individuality.

In a stereotypical Asian community of GIS, you find yourselves sometimes deciding your children’s destiny through education for the brightest possible future. Yes, education is vital for the modern world, but however a child’s desires, personal decisions are equally important. The generation gap between parents and their growing children is the obvious source of dispute and differences, especially in the 21st century. The disparity in wavelength and idealism between Gen X and Y necessitate the parents to be “Responsive”. A grown up who partakes and observes the trends and movements of the new era, often fare better than those with outright rejections. Involvements and acceptance of teen peers with their evolving live style can potentially open up communication and breakdown the barriers between these two ages. Despite the desirable approach of “cool” parenting allowing much room for freedom, “Responsible” attitude is also mandatory for the guidance and shaping of a law-abiding citizen. Although parents can sternly enforce rules in a family, dialogues and bilateral debates on issues such as illicit drugs usage, alcohol abuse and premarital sex will add more comprehension and ensures all parties are on the same page. Empowerment and education of teenagers is crucial to enable parents to safeguards discipline, allowing both parties to set the ground rules and agreements on the consequences of non-compliance. Part of the process of maturity is to build self-esteem and gain self-confidence in this journey of life. Supportive parents must have the inclinations to recognize and “Reward” the teenagers’ accomplishment. On the other hands, also have the compassion to “Reconcile” when mistakes are made. The “open door” style of parenting can allow approachable and amicable communication in the family during the highs and lows of the upbringings. The most important aspect of good parenting is to lead by example. Being a “Role-model” allows the teenagers to adhere to high standards of moral and ethical values in decision-makings. When a parent is the protagonist advocating the high standards of moral compass in society without compromise, the next generation is more likely to be inspired. The former Conservative Prime Minister of Great Britain, Benjamin Disraeli once said: “Youth is a Blunder; Manhood is a struggle, old age is a regret.” Upon reflection, I hope my journey in life will one day will graduate my teenage years to the role of parenthood. In an ever-evolving world we live in, a parent should constantly “Reflect” and “Reconnect” with the younger generation. Despite the blunders and struggle of youths, I shall “Remember” to “Relax”, at the same time be “Responsive” and “Responsible”. I am determined to be a “Role-model” to “Reward” and “Reconcile” when nurturing my teens. I hope my last “R” in this lesson of life will not haunt me with “Regrets”!

#LessonsFromScience